xeno

n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.

(Source: dictionaryofobscuresorrows, via sailingaugust)

101514

Quiet morning drive in the middle seat of my father’s Ford truck. My older brother, Jason is in the passenger seat. We are very sleepy, as it is about 5:40 am, and my father is driving us to our Meme and Pepe’s house on his way to work. Meme babysits us on or summer break, because Mom and Dad both work full time. Sometimes I will go back to sleep on the couch, but most of the time I will eat cereal and maybe eat one of Meme’s bananas, only if she will let me. She needs a banana everyday as a part of her diet. I loved playing in the yard, eating sugar snap peas, and cherry tomatoes from the garden. My favorite spot in the yard was under a big tree, where the moss spread made a most comfortable, and soft place to lay in the shade. Jason and I would run and play, and sometimes fight. We caught HUGE frogs, that were so strong we could not hold onto them for too long. I have not seen frogs that big since I was little. Pepe would work hard in the yard all day, in his chicken coupe, cutting down trees, fixing things, but he always took us on tractor rides, and we loved it! I miss meme, she passed away 5 or so years ago. She was so kind, and always kept oatmeal cookies in the cookie jar, made me drink the milk left over in my cereal bowl (even though I hated it). She would play card games with me, and I liked watching her play solitaire, she knew so many different ways to play! My Pepe is in the hospital now, he just had a stroke, I went and visited him today. It was very emotional for me to see him this way, he was in the gym doing physical therapy, his left side is very weak, and he was so tired, he could not stay awake. I held his hand and spoke a little to him. He was just so tired I don’t even know if he remembers me, or that I was there. The nurses said he had a bad night and had not slept, but he is doing good with his therapy. Once he got back to his room, he got into bed, and fell asleep instantly. I sat in the chair next to him, and watched him sleep. I did not want to wake him, so I took the card out I got him and placed it on the table next to his bed. When I left and got into the elevator I cried so hard, I couldn’t stop. Getting old is terrifying, and I just wish we never had to die, or grow old. I want him to get better, I wish I could be a kid again, and be with Meme and Pepe. I wish, I wish.

memory childhood sad gettingold prayers

"You are flowers in my stomach.
 Cutting me open nightly, blooming through the cracks of the ribs. 
I only want to be the sun for you."
- Elke River (via feellng)

(Source: feellng, via sailingaugust)

zombiegraycat:

i’m a hopeless Romantic. walk with me in the graveyards of gothic cathedrals, transcend the confines of elitist and rationalistic structures of discourse, and join me in an eternal spiritual quest for the strange and sublime.

(Source: arachna-feminist, via mirroir)